


The Truth About Me, And The Truth About You

by Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Culture, Irken Empire (Invader Zim), irken membrane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28401597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins/pseuds/Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins
Summary: A strange invader lands on the planet Earth, in this strange place will he finally find what he was looking for?Warning: I found this in some old fics and gave it a quick read, it's not bad and so here we are!There's a very VERY VERY slim chance that I will continue this, most likely won't!Irken Membrane AU!
Kudos: 8





	The Truth About Me, And The Truth About You

**Author's Note:**

> I do have some plot points/ideas in the end notes, do enjoy! <3
> 
> Yes it's a lyric from Touch Tone Telephone, ah 2019, when shit wasn't shit.

The mass of purple metal collided against the surface, ripping up chunks of dirt, H2O was flung into the inky void. Millions of life forms screamed out, and their voice never reached the dark heavens. Whole societies were wiped out as beams of light descended on them, vaporizing their existence in the same manner that one would squish a bug. More ships landed and slashed through the planet. The rock below didn’t even fire a single shot, their defences were taken offline long ago.

Another.

He didn’t even flinch as his ship alerted him to a new message, he opened it up without taking his eyes off of the planet.

**SUPER JOB!**

He deleted it with a wave of his hand, finally turning his back on the planet below. “Computer, what is my next assignment?” Immediately the front window was closed as a hologram of the known universe flooded his ship. Tiny blue planets littered his ship, some had the Irken symbol on them, others had a bright red X, and there was only one planet that was highlighted white. 

His next target. 

“Computer, set a flight path to this planet and give me all the information we have on it.” He sat back down, rubbing right under his sensor and closing his eyes as he felt the gentle jerk of his ship. Alone, he was sent off to find another planet, dissect the dominating parties and find the quickest way to serve it up for his tallest. 

His ship rocked and roared as it entered the atmosphere of the green and blue planet, breaching through the clouds, he didn’t even flinch as his ship burst into flames. He sat comfortably in his seat doing some calculations, humming. 

**Approaching highly populated settlement.**

Membrane sat up looking outside the window, watching the sun slowly rise up. Tall structures cut through the clouds, billions of people scurred below him. He sighed, rubbing his forehead, already this world disgusted him, he hated heights, the buzzing, the constant panic. He really didn’t like heights. “No, Computer, too much...just everything.”

His ship sighed.  **A smaller settlement?**

They flew over, heading...West, the planet blurred into bright oranges and yellows. “Computer what’s wrong with the vegetation?”

**The temperature is lowering and the vegetation is hibernating to survive the cold.**

“Interesting,” He was fascinated at the strange behavior of this new planet. Another city zipped by, and another, each one smaller and smaller, but still far too big. They flew over a mass H2O, the rippling waves drew him in. “What’s the closest settlement?”

**Detroit, the inhabitants of this planet call it a ‘run down’.**

“Hmm,” He frowned, shaking his head. “No, not that one.” Finally the perfect settlement passed under them. “STOP!” His ship jerked to a stop and he slammed into the window, hissing as he rubbed his head. “Ow,” 

The town was small, not even half the size of the first city, there was this charm to it. A small river, a mass of plant life, but there were lines and lines of huts with black rock connecting them all. In the middle of it was a massive recreational area.

They hovered over the settlement, the sun was starting to rise up from the east, he finally picked a vacant lot between two huts in a populated area. The ship jerked when it finally landed and wiggled as the drills dug deep into the dirt. He was already at work, tapping into what was the ‘internet’, studying how these ‘homosapeins’ built their huts. He typed in a few commands for his ship to follow. Above them two lasers cut the plant life, level the ground and poured a foundation. Apparently it took the ‘homosapeins’ awhile to put up a hut, lazy fat things. 

He took into account their fleshy fat bodies, how they moved, breathed, consumed, everything. He started to piece together his disguise, only pausing to look at his reflection in the window. With another inhale he pressed a button on his PAK, his reflection faltered. White eyes stared back at him, the deep scars on his forehead, his missing sensor, he pulled down his cone revealing his sacred mouthhole. Sneering at himself he went back to his PAK, picking his body shape, his flesh tone, eye color, hair.

“Well then.” He stared at his avatar, a grin creeping up his lips. “I look good.”

  
  


His own ‘house’ as the…’humans’ called was finally built, as he only had his ship contract it during the night hours. However the inside was a total mess, nothing but wires and cold metal. The front door closed behind him, he rubbed his forehead and brushed back his long ‘hair’. He set the brown bag on his makeshift table, sitting down himself and pulling out all the ‘groceries’. If he was to stay here he would need to find a steady supply of snacks, luck for him the humans loved their large snacks. He dumped the bag onto the table, taking a small sample from each food and letting his PAK test it.

**All are consumable.**

“Hmm.” He lowered his turtle neck and picked a jar of brown goo, dipping one of his fingers into it and licking it. “OH!” his long tongue snaked out and dove right into the jar, he gulped down the sweet goo. When it was half gone he finally read the label, ‘Nutella’. “Well no wonder they’re fat.” He set it aside and grabbed a bag of frozen treats, throwing them onto a sheet of metal and placing it next to a thruster. With a flash of light the treats were steaming, he ate one and moaned. “Salty, chewy, and gooey.” He read the plastic, ‘pizza bites’. He grabbed another item but stopped as a high pitched scream scared him. “I’VE BEEN DETECTED!” He ran towards the window peering out.

One of the small humans was in his yard sobbing, slobbering and clutching his knee.

Instantly he hissed, annoying pests. He stepped out of his house and up to the tiny human. “What’s wrong?”

The human sobbed moving his grubby hands away from his knee, red liquid bubbled up around the pinkish flesh.

“Interesting.” He leaned down poking the wound.

“TIM!” An adult human sprinted towards them, skidding to a stop and cupping the smaller humans’ chubby cheeks. “Tim, you’re fine, just a scraped knee,” He pressed his mouthhole to the smaller forehead and picked him up. “Oh I’m sorry Tim here likes to venture.” The adult smiled offering his hand.

He froze for a moment lifting his own hand and jumping when the adult took it and shook it. “Greetings.”

“Welcome to the neighborhood, I’m Sam, this is my son Tim,” Sam smiled up at him.

“Oh, uh thank you I’m…” He didn’t think of a name! He was looking into everything that made this planet and forgot to come up with a name! All of his research, from biology to psychology, millions of researchers and professors an- “Professor,” 

“Oh you have a degree?” Sam smiled.

“Oh yeah,” What’s a degree? “Membrane, Professor Membrane.” He nodded, as good as a name as any at this point.

“Well it was swell to meet you!” Sam smiled, Tim waved at him with big eyes. “Say buh-bye son.”

“Buh-Bye!”

“Professor Membrane?” He mumbled to himself stepping back into his house, he watched as Sam and Tim crossed the road, two other small humans ran out and hugged Sam. “‘Son’? What’s a ‘son’?” He turned away and let his PAK dissect the red liquid off of his finger.

**Same DNA structure as adult humans.**

“What a strange way to reproduce no Smeeteries?” Once again he searched the internet looking for anything that could shed some light on this. He ended up watching some site called ‘PornHub’ for a whole 10 mintues before shivering. “Disgusting, this is how humans are made?” He finally clicked on a documentary (he became quite fond of them) and watched as humans were made and developed.

A week passed and Membrane watched from his window, the humans, the families, watching them run around in decaying plant matter. He wondered how some family structures were set up, some were just ‘nuclear’ families, one adult female, one adult male, and children, others were just one adult and a child, some were just adults. The children would go to this school place and the adults would go to work. Similar to how the empire used to run.

Membrane turned away from the window, pulling out a small container that held various samples of human DNA. He placed them in his PAK and analyzed the data as it popped up on one of his monitors. He made a few notes, mostly on how to destroy the whole cizilvation. Interesting enough he compared the strand of DNA to his own, who knew that humans processed sight, taste, feeling and hearing just like an Irken. Or that they had similar organs but the humans had these things called ‘kidneys’. 

“Hmm, fascinating, what if I?” He fiddled with the strands, transferring some data to the other, and then activating the hologram. “UGH.” The creature had 2 heads and a mouth that dragged to its feet. He shut down the hologram and instead he tweaked the DNA, making sure there were no diseases, that it would look just like him to fit in and… Membrane stopped, looking at the hologram. “They’re quite similar to us, what if I?” His skin faded to the natural green.

_ Three Earth hours later. _

He stared down at the hologram, a perfect duplicate of his disguise, kinda cute. Membrane shrugged and pulled out a cylinder of goo, his PAK dinged and he pulled out the tiny glass tray. He dropped it into the green cylinder, then poured in another vile and sealed the cylinder shut. Then he shook it and watched as the bubbled filled the inside of it. He took out a market and wrote D.I.B. on the side and set it on the shelf. “9 months.” He told his PAK to set a reminder before he slumped on the makeshift sofa and flick on the tv.

“Fascinating.” He slipped off his goggles, as he held up D.I.B. the tiny human wiggled a bit, his eyelids twitching. This wasn’t the first time he saw a test move in their tube but there was something different about this one. 

Membrane had spent the past few Earth months fitting in, he found himself a job, taught himself how to drive, and now socialize with humans. He even had a dinner party to attend, funny enough he was looking forward to it, even taught himself how to make the best meatloaf. But that all came to a stop when D.I.B. stirred. 

It frightened him at first, seeing a test move, but D.I.B. only pulled his arms close and held himself in what human’s called a ‘hug’. Cute.

“Not now.” He told himself setting D.I.B. back on the shelf just as his oven beeped. “Perfect, now where’s that ugly sweater?”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Plot points/half cooked ideas  
> Overall theme: family, Membrane learns that he's finally happy with himself, Dib and Gaz need to learn this  
> (also this chunk was ripped out of the doc so it's messy)  
> Membrane was sent to planets to study their life and doing so he tell the empire the quickest way to bring down the planet. So he's done this a few times and so he goes on earth, clones a copy of himself but a hybrid aka Dib, finds out how long earthlings live and feels bad, so he hides his irken nature and becomes a dad, then he makes gaz and stays on earth to raise them  
> Tallest haven't heard from him in 12+ years, look into his location, finds out that he's been just living there on Earth (they find a cute photo of Membrane family) they send a whole group of invaders to grab membrane. However he was at wholefoods and Gaz is home, they try to get his ship and his work but Gaz fights them off. So instead they take Gaz. Membrane and Dib come home, think nothing of Gaz's absence (nap/videogames) and membrane just is a bit off, like he knows something is wrong.  
> start this off with Gaz finding out Membrane is an irken, not sure yet.  
> Membrane is at work and he goes home, and sees Dib and Zim "playing", he's known the whole time and knows who Zim is and is honestly scared of him. Dib runs into their home and Membrane finds out that that's not Zim, that's an invader, and there's more of them. He runs in after Dib and finds that they've already knocked his son out, he fought them trying to save Dib but the invaders escape with Dib thinking he's Membrane. And dad freaks out, looks for Gaz, goes into his old ship and sees that the tallest sent him a message, a lot of messages.  
> Then i'm thinking a nice side by side comparison where Membrane is getting ready to take down the empire and the tallest beating and questioning Dib and Gaz.  
> Membrane then goes to Zim, trying to convince Zim to join him and take down the empire, Zim calls bullshit and Membrane shows his true self, Zim is shocked and due to Membrane's height Zim agrees being that Membrane is the tallest. MEANWHILE: Dib and Gaz are finding out the truth, about Zim and Membrane, that Zim killed the last tallest, and Membrane was sent out to study other planets and find weaknesses. Dib and Gaz don't think that their father is a irken and frustrate the tallest and they're locked up. Zim and Membrane find the Tallest's ship, then they break into it and hunt down Dib and Gaz. They trigger an alarm and the tallest grab Dib and Gaz, Zim and Membrane find them and cue a badass fight.  
> Membrane is revealed to the the true tallest, one of the tallest that Zim 'killed', he hated being a tallest and once he was healed he hid himself as an observer/invader, letting the empire run itself.  
> bad ending is where they're at breakfast and dib and gaz explode with questions and pretty upset, they don't fit in anywhere (not human or irken) that their dad is hiding this from them and such. they storm out and membrane is upset and looks at the breakfast he made. that night he picks them both up and holds them gently, like you can feel the love this man has for his kids. returns to the empire, erases their mind of him and sends them back to earth with a robot to raise them. and he's up in space ruling over planets and such and membrane is once again unhappy, but every once in awhile he spies on them and it just breaks his heart. dib and gaz can't figure out why breakfast makes them so sad
> 
> \-----
> 
> Yea that was it, most likely won't update this at all, but if y'all want to play with this idea, go ahead, just hit me up so I can read it <3  
> Discord:Dr_Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins_#0068  
> Tumblr: https://dildo-swaggins-t-baggins.tumblr.com/


End file.
